the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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