Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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