is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Randomize
