I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
