'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
PANTIES FOUND
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