You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
