we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize