Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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