I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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