So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
