So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize