I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Randomize
