Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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