can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
