so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize