i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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