Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I am never drinking with the goths again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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