I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
