im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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