And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize