It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
