This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
