Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
do nipples grow back?
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