someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
