is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
