i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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