So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
