dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
