Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
