When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize