but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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