Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Randomize
