That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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