Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
