Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
