I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Operation Purity has been aborted
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize