i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
