How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
