if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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