if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
