carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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