Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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