I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize