is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So apparently I’m into choking now
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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