kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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