I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
