its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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