am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
