Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
