I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
