Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
