Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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