redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize