You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
