This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
