Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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