i think my tv is drunk
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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